"If I got offended about cartoons,

 golly -- give us a break...."

Australian PM John Howard

John Howard says he is not offended by an Indonesian magazine's cartoon depicting
him and Alexander Downer as amorous dingoes. The cartoon depicted a shaking Mr Howard
mounting Mr Downer with the prime minister saying: "I want Papua!! Alex! Try to make it happen."  (BBC)
Source: Howard 'unfazed' by sex cartoon

 

Sumatra quake could be set to rumble again: study
"It could devastate the coastal communities of southwestern Sumatra, including the cities of Padang and Bengkulu, with a combined population of well over a million people. It could happen tomorrow, or it could happen 30 years from now, but I'd be surprised if it were delayed much beyond that." (Reuters)


Blair in Indonesia terror accord
Prime Minister Tony Blair has promised to work closely in the fight against terrorism with Indonesia, home to the world's largest Muslim population. The BBC's correspondent in Jakarta, Tim Johnston, says Indonesia is increasingly being seen as a vital bridge between Western and Islamic nations. (BBC)

Greenpeace reminds Blair about forest destruction  -  Indonesia has already lost more than 72% of its large intact ancient forest areas and 40% of its forests have been completely destroyed. In 2004 Britain was Indonesia's largest trading partner in Europe for timber products, importing about €121-million ($145-million) worth of timber products, Greenpeace said in a statement. (Guardian Online)

Doctors perform Indonesia's first 'free flap' facial reconstruction


BuGils-Cazbar Expansion into Kemang Confirmed
In walking distance from KemChicks is one of Jakarta's oldest Expat Bars situated, hidden behind the walls what is currently called Napolina restaurant. The Anglo-Indian bar & restaurant used to be an old time expat favorite under the name Eastern Promise, while it was still managed by Carl Abbiot. The new management has plans to renovate the pub, but it will keep the same Anglo-Indian menu. Most famous are the meatpies, oven baked pizza's and English style curry's. The restaurant will NOT close during the renovation that will start next week. Another 'bar' expansion is carried out by Maddogs, who took over the management of the restaurant in the German Centre. (BuGils Daily)


 

FROM THE EDITOR:

It certainly wasn't my day yesterday. A frustrated customer ripped my book Bule Gila to small pieces. It was a busy night in Cazbar, and a large number of people around the reading table were watching how he tried to burn my precious work to ashes. He tried to get my attention but I ignored him. A number of people around him looked at me with apologizing looks. Nobody knew why he did it. I knew, but I was too tired to explain. The wine was refreshing. 'Luckily the staff still don't know what 150 ml is', I thought to myself and took another sip of the enormous glass. 'Hey, hey! Look!', the man at the other end of the table shouted to me. He tried to lighten the front cover and in the process almost burned his finger. I looked emotionless in his direction and felt sorry for him. He wanted to be a shareholder in the next bar, but I hadn't asked him. Why? Could it be because of his inflammable personality? Whatever, it was, it just wasn't my day.

One of the people who witnessed it, apparently felt sorry for me. He notified me that he had managed to grab the book burners' mobile phone without him noticing it. He had  changed the mobile number of the book burners' girlfriend with mine. I was not in the mood for jokes and forgot about it, until I received a text message the next morning.

HIM: 'Where are you?'
ME: 'In Sentul. Why you ask?'
HIM: 'Just want to know. Didn't hear from you since last night'

For one second I wondered why the book burner wanted to know where I was. Then I remembered the switch of numbers in his mobile the night before! He thought he was sending a SMS to his girlfriend! Time for revenge. I sent out the next SMS:

ME: 'I think it is better we end our relationship'
HIM: 'Why?'
ME: 'Bad sex and you are too old for me anyway. Also, you don't like my God.'

It took the book burner at least 20 minutes to come with the next sms:

HIM: 'You are right about your God'
ME: 'Also my family doesn't agree. Maybe one more time, for old times sake, and then we are finished'
HIM: 'So will you come to my place? What time?'
ME: 'If you want to make it special you better book a room in Ritz Carlton. Your place holds too many memories.'
HIM: 'I don't like Ritz Carlton. Why book a room?'
ME: 'Ok. Up to you.'
HIM: 'NO, no! I book a room. What time you come?'
ME: 'At 11pm. I wanna go out first. Maybe I bring a friend. There is something I didn't tell you yet'
HIM: 'A girl? Wow... You surprise me again.
ME: 'She likes me a lot and I like her. We will see what happens'
HIM: 'Room 942'
ME: 'Be sure you take a shower first'
HIM: 'No underwear'
After not responding for 30 minutes, he continued:
HIM: 'Let's do it in the bath tub'
ME: 'Why?'
HIM: 'Nice.'
ME: 'I want to beat the record'
HIM: 'You should come earlier then. I am over 50, remember?'
ME: 'See you later'
HIM: 'Deal. Don't forget to bring your friend. Room 942'

While I write this, the staff gives me a white wine. It seems to be exactly 150 ml this time. I feel happy. Some people are learning, while others seem to lose it. I wonder sometimes when it will be my turn. The staring waitress is still staring at me, after 4 months working in Cazbar. Sometimes I want to suddenly shout at her, jump up and scream as loud as I can, but so far I kept myself in control. I pointed at the glass of wine and put up my thumbs. Afraid that she did something wrong again, she slowly came from behind the bar in my direction. 'Yes, mister Bart?' Again I pointed at the glass in front of me: 'This is the right quantity'. She looked at the glass and slowly nodded and then: 'Normally I give mister more, but this was the last in the bottle.... I am so sorry...'. So after all it was not because she didn't know what 150 ml was. She did it to make me happy. Over and over again it is me, who is feeling stupid. But one person last Saturday must have felt more stupid than anybody else.

I do not know how long the book burner waited in room 942, but I did receive one SMS that evening, with the question what time I would show up. 'Be patient', I replied in my final message. Until now, I have not seen the book burner back in the bar....

THIS SATURDAY LIVE in BUGILS CAFE:

 The Bad Boys Blues

(the manager: 'And I will bring an Elvis as well....')

 

Plans are well under way for this year's Highland Gathering. Be a part of this great occasion - the unique annual multi-cultural fun day out featuring a wide range of attractions and events for all ages from around the world and around the archipelago. The Gathering is a great way to entertain your family, your friends and/or your clients. In addition to the traditional pipers, dancing, heavies, tug of war and sports competitions and the spectacular Up-Helly-Aa finale, attractions being organised for this year include human fussball, woodcutters, pony rides and much more. Watch this space for more information.

Surplus funds are distributed to various charities in Indonesia. Amongst other things, over the years the JHG has assisted many orphans with their schooling - all the way to university. Help us do more. For corporate sponsorship please contact Hilary Munro on  hilary@munromail.net To participate in other ways or if you want to help in organising the event please contact Bob Park on Robert_Park@cnooc.co.id

ELSEWHERE IN THE WORLD:

Next, he should try finding the Great Wall

CANBERRA (Reuters) - A drunk driver just 100 yards from Australia's iconic giant monolith once known as Ayers Rock stopped police to ask the way to the 1,100-foot-high rock. The headlights of the man's car were actually shining on Uluru, which has a 5.8-mile circumference, Northern Territory police said. The 44-year-old man, whose car was also towing an aluminum boat, has been charged with drunk driving and unlicensed driving.

Software piracy costing Indonesia billions: Microsoft
Some 87 percent of computer software on the market in Indonesia in 2005 was pirated. if piracy dropped by just 10 percent, it would add 3.4 billion dollars to the economy, according to figures cited by the International Data Corporation. (Yahoo)


Indonesian coal a family affair
Indonesia's bountiful natural resources are generating massive corporate deals, a signal that one of the region's sickest post-financial-crisis economies is finally reviving. In the process, so too are some of the business families that ruled the roost under former president Suharto's New Order regime. (Asia Times)

Gas export policy review to hit Jakarta
Indonesia evaluating Freeport contract -Kalla
Indonesia to Buy 8 Russian Sukhoi Jet Fighters (Mosnews)
Indonesia poised to be top palm oil producer (Business Times)
At Exxon, only a change of style (IHT)




At

Stairway to Heaven

on Thursday 1 FREE BARREL
of Heineken at 7pm and
the Big Fashion Show at 8.30pm.
On Sunday all you can eat B.B.Q.
for Rp.50.000,- and Heineken
at Rp.12.000,- all in all day.
Address: Jalan Kemang Raya
(third floor of The BEAT)
 

Indonesia back on the world stage
In recent years Indonesia has not pulled its weight in international affairs befitting the world's fourth-largest nation and third-largest democracy. President Susilo Yudhoyono is trying to change that, using his country's Muslim credentials to build bridges in the Islamic world. (Asia Times)

Anti-pornograpy laws in Indonesia stir debate about an open society
Addressing a Jakarta audience, Mr Yudhoyono complained about young women baring belly buttons in public and recounted how a singer hired for a presidential event had been sent packing for exposing her navel. "I was disturbed," he said. "I told her to go home. And she did just that without having the chance to sing a song." (Int Herald Tribune)

The decline of political Islam in Indonesia (Asia Times)
Ulema body grows powerful in Indonesia (Middle East Times)
 

Roberts Furniture at Jalan Wijaya Kusuma No. D.4, Jakarta 12430. Tel. 021-7512223. A great selection of both original and reproduction furniture at the best prices.

RECENT EDITIONS:

http://www.bartele.com/newsletters/Mar18nl2006.htm

http://www.bartele.com/newsletters/Mar10nl2006.htm

http://www.bartele.com/newsletters/Mar04nl2006.htm

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